Friday, July 29, 2011

A nurse and a patient

Being a nurse and a patient is SO hard to do!!  I checked in to the hospital yesterday for my procedure and tried to have a relaxed attitude about everything.  The nurse came and called my name and took me back to preop area.  She had a little bit of an attitude.  I don't know if she was having a bad day or if she was that way all the time, but I tried to play it off by joking around and being nice.  As I am laying in the bed waiting for her to come and start my IV, I check to make sure everything is in its place and ready to go like it should be i.e. the saline bag is hooked up correctly, primed correctly, clean gloves, cleaning solution for hands near by... As the nurse comes in and starts to get her area ready about one hundred things go through my mind.  You didn't wash your hands, okay now you need to rewash your hands, that is not sterile anymore, please get another one, is that lid still sterile, you are not inserting that correctly.  Now I tried to limit the things I said out loud because this woman didn't know I was a nurse, and I didn't want to get on her bad side.  She begins to look for a vein to start my IV.  After she looks, and looks, and looks I am screaming in my head "Okay now!  put the tourniquet on and start feeling, sometimes you cant see them right away you need to feel for them too."  She found a vein in my right hand and begins to clean the area with the alcohol.  Right before she inserts the needle I pierce my right thumb with my fingernail to offset the pain.  The second she starts the fluid a huge bulge appears in my hand...that is blown.  Now to find another vein.  Without feeling she goes straight for the vein in the bend of my arm, uses the same contaminated alcohol pad, fans the area, and inserts a new needle before I could protest anything.  She administers a little saline and there was no puffiness.  The nurse starts cleaning the area, I feel some pain and tightness in my arm and proceed to tell her.  She glances over and says "It looks good and the solution is going in slow, it's probably just in a sensitive spot."  I try and not make a huge deal about it and keep scanning over the area to make sure it looks fine.  They FINALLY come and take me back for the procedure and my anesthesiologists starts to hook up some medicine.  I immediately feel extreme pain in my arm.  He takes one look at my arm and explains that the IV is definitely not correct.  (I should have been more persistent)  After four more failed attempts the anesthesiologists finally hits the right spot and administers the most wonderful medicine!  The room begins to spin and the next thing I know I am hearing my sweet husbands voice.  I was dreading this moment because I know people are hilarious as the anesthesia wears off.  I had no clue what I was saying or how many times I was saying it. I know Jeremy was probably getting a pretty good laugh.  Oh well, I was glad that everything was over and I would be going home and sleeping in my comfy bed for the rest of the day.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My mom



It is very therapeutic for me to write down my story, thoughts, and feelings regarding my mom.  Lately I have been thinking about her more due to the fact that Thursday I am checking into the hospital to have a colonoscopy. Fun stuff!
   Growing up as a little girl my life was pretty much perfect.  I called it "normal" but our family was actually the exception.  My parents were not divorced.  My aunts and uncles were not divorced, and my grandparents were not divorced on any side of my family.  No drug addicts, alcoholics, or bums. I grew up in church and my parents were consistent in guiding and disciplining my sister and I.  My perfect little bubble popped in May 2006.  My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer May 5 2006.  My parents had just moved to KC for my dads job and I followed them to go to college and be with my boyfriend (and eventually husband) Jeremy.
  My mom had always been a great example of what  a christian woman.  She was diligent and consistent in reading her bible and spending time with God. Anytime my sister or I had a bad day or a "crisis" come up, my mom was the first one to say "stop, lets pray about it".  Any time we were having a bad day or a problem she would sing,
                                             This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made,
                                                   That the Lord has made, we will rejoice, we
                                                   will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it...

She surrounded herself with wise christian women and found opportunities to guide younger girls.  She volunteered at the Pregnancy Crisis Center in Wichita.  She had such a passion for young girls, and desired to help them come to know God.  She loved my sister and I more than I will probably know.  She was the most selfless person I have ever came in contact with.  If I called her and needed her to bring me something or to come and pick me up from somewhere, with no questions asked she would drop what she was doing and come.  I was never very organized and my ADD definitely doesn't help that.  I remember days I would forget a deadline and be stressing out and completely overreacting, she would be there to help or fix anything that she could, and it always turned out okay.  After I got married, my  mom would come and stay with me to help me study for my nursing exams.  My mom was my rock.  She was the one person that knew me; awkward, embarrassing, emotional, mad, happy, sad...and she loved and understood me still.  I would call her five or more times a day.  I miss my mom... The feelings is unbearable sometimes.  It feels as if the air in your body is being sucked out of you, like you are suffocating.  I am so lucky that God allowed me to know that kind of love, and have such an amazing mom.  I am so blessed.
    In one of my mom's journals she wrote down 1 Peter 4:12

                                                Don't be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering,
                                                as though something strange were happening to you.

I think Paul put it best when he wrote, "To live is Christ, and to die is gain."





(This will probably not be the last time I write about my mom, but I don't want to keep rambling on tonight.)

Monday, July 25, 2011

First blog ever!  I used to think that blogging or tweeting was stupid. Who would want to read what I have to say?  I started to have different views this summer.  I have been traveling a lot due to Jeremy going out of town.  I don't like to stay at home with the kids, so we go back to Wichita usually. That leaves me with five hours in the car to just think each way.  This last trip I decided I would like to start a journal.  I thought about it more and decided I would go against all my past opinions and start a blog.  Who knows, something I have to say might be what someone else is thinking or going through.  I love reading the blogs that I follow so I need to get over it and just start a blog of my own.  So here it is, my first blog!